Jacob walked to his mother’s bedroom door holding the papers. “Mom. Please, talk to me.” Gently he knocked, only a few raps were made. “Mom..”
A soft click was heard right before the door began to open reluctantly. Her hair fell carelessly in her face, and her gaze was on the floor. She didn’t say a word as she walked to the living room. Patiently Jacob followed, sitting beside her he waited her to talk, knowing she would need a little coaxing.
“Mom, you can talk to me.”
Lifting her face slowly she took in the sight that was her son. He was almost a man now, that had became obvious. The width of his shoulders revealed the weight he suffered from. The slender figure exemplified the financial situation, however, he never complained. Shaking her head, if only for a moment, she wished she was as strong as him. Wrapping her arms around him, she remained in the embrace so long as it took her to pull herself together.
There was so much that he didn’t know, and so much that she needed to tell him. But after losing his father, how was she supposed to tell him he’d be losing her too? How was she supposed to tell him that she couldn’t pay her own medical bills? That in an attempt to give him money she tried to keep a premium with a life insurance company paid? How was she supposed to accept the fact that she was dying long enough to tell him, without breaking down herself?
After pulling away from her son, she put her hand on his shoulder. Trying to remain strong for his sake, she began..
“I understand… I-I do. But..” Came the struggled reply from her son. She knew he was only remaining strong for her.
“..And I didn’t want to leave you with nothing like your father left us. He loved you, and I love you. The premium is expensive.. I’m ill, of course it is, but, I just need a way to pay it. It’ll be worth it.. For your sake.”
“I’m going to quit school. I want to stay home and take care of you. I can get a job, and we can keep food in the fridge. You will be fine. You will. I’ll make sure of it. Mom.. Mom. I will. We can make it through. You and me. We’ll be fine.”
Shaking her head slowly, her voice was stern. “No. You are a senior in High School, you are going to finish and graduate. You are in the top twenty of the class, you are not throwing that away.”
“Mom. It’s worth it to take care of you. I can get a job without it. It’ll be fine.”
“I said no.”
“How am I supposed to continue on like life hasn’t changed? How am I supposed to go to school and concentrate and work hard the way I used to knowing you’re at home dying?! Tell me. How. You couldn’t. You would quit your job to take care of me.”
“That’s different. I said no. I’ll be fine, I’ll get a second job. But you may have to get a part time one.. To help take care of the expenses. I’m sorry.”
“I will. Just.” Jacob didn’t know what else to say. His mother wouldn’t let him quit, and he didn’t want her so disappointed in him if he did it anyway. Hugging her tightly he swallowed the agony. She had to be alright. She just had to.
She had called off work that day. She had been doing it far too often lately. She needed the money, but her body just could not handle the stress of two jobs. The month had passed, and she didn’t want a reminder she had signed those papers in the first place. A bill, or any paper from there. She didn’t want to remember she wasn’t going to get better. And she didn’t want a reminder that she had prepared for it. She felt like if she embraced death, rather than resisted, then things wouldn’t be so hard for her. But she just could not do it, thinking about her son, thinking about leaving him behind; that made her blood run as cold as ice. It was hard not to think about it though; and it was even more difficult to suppress the emotions that came with the thoughts. She couldn’t accept that she would die before even seeing her son graduate. Who would be at his wedding? Who would be there for him?
Kamisha Hendrix 